Scatterbrained
by kateydidnt
Summary: New Year's challenge from Darth Ishtar. Side story to her "Unusual Tastes" The Doctor meets the Denali Coven.


Scatterbrained

Chapter 1

Her eyebrow quirked up as the timer ticked closer. She slowly moved the instrument in her hand. She had long since finished the intellectual rigors of her task but was just completing the accompanying physical maneuvers. Her tongue flicked out and across her lips, a single gesture that had sent more than one man into ecstasy.

To her disappointment her partner merely glanced at her and went back to his part.

She held back a sigh of frustration. It had been hundreds of years since it had been this difficult for her to do this. There were few who could, or even would, resist her and her sisters--to date the number sat at two. Prior to meeting this man, it had been one. She was determined though, that by the end of their time together (her goal had previously been by the end of the night, but seeing as the sun was just starting to paint the dawn, she had adjusted her schedule) that number would be reduced back to one.

And surely Tanya would _eventually_ make that one into none.

The man's head snapped up, a nearly manic grin on his face as a buzz sounded between them.

"Time!" He said gleefully.

She wondered how long this would take—not that she was tired, or getting discouraged. But it had taken quite some time so far. The remains of her previous attempts scattered about the room. The standard tactics hadn't work. She had used every trick in the book and even more that no book would ever be written about.

She'd resorted to some unusual strategies. Chess (Norman Jewison had gotten the idea from her) had given her the first breakthrough—no human would be able to beat a vampire in chess. And it revealed he seemed to enjoy games. Her subsequent crushing loss at Trivial Pursuit proved the man was an absolute genius.

Each game progressed and revealed small bits about him, but she was still frustrated, in more ways than one.

Twister, though they had been quite intimately close, had revealed nothing more than that he was extremely limber. He hadn't reacted when she brushed across his torso to reach her next position—didn't blink when she breathed in his ear as he maneuvered around her.

She'd switched to this game in an attempt to understand his thoughts, and to display hers more prominently, in case he had somehow missed everything she had been doing.

But he hadn't reacted when she had used "feather boa" or "fuel injector" of "forceps" nor even the more blatant expletive for her four-letter word in the last round.

"You can go first," he pronounced magnanimously.

"Titans."

His face pulled into a grimace, "By what stretch of the imagination were the Titans heroes? They were invaders intent on carving out--literally--a place to live. Do you have any _idea_ how many earthquakes they were responsible for?"

She demurely accepted his correction and crossed that off her list, her mind though was filing that away with the rest of the strange comments he had made—some of his previous answers ranged from "car" as something you plug in, to "computers" as things that grow; from someone called "Obama" for President, to "Orlando Olympians" for pro sports teams, who he claimed would completely dominate the world curling finals in 3214.

And those were just his answers. She had been given a fifteen minute lecture on why copernicium was not actually a true metal, despite its placement on the periodic table, but was really a shape-shifting ductile silicate-based lifeform.

Oblivious to her consternation—or willfully ignoring it—he spoke, "Teddy Roosevelt."

She narrowed her eyes and said "Teddy Roosevelt was _not_ a hero."

"Did you ever meet him?" He paused for a moment and seeing her hesitation, "Well there you go, I did. He was a hero."

She filed that one away too. She hoped that everything she was gathering would turn somehow from jigsaw into cohesive portrait, but the pieces she had currently didn't fit together at all.

On autopilot she continued to compare his answers to his as she reviewed in her mind how this had began.

_The knock at the door had actually startled them. Normally they would have heard anyone approaching, but they had been distracted by the latest news from Forks, Washington. _

_Carmen answered the door to reveal a somewhat rumpled man with hair sticking out at every angle. His shoes had to be soaked from the snow, and even that overcoat wouldn't keep out the wind this time of night—but he wasn't shivering. Carmen stepped away from the door to allow him entrance._

_The wind blew into the room, filling their nostrils with his scent—and making every single one of them snap to attention. He smelled like nothing they had ever encountered—there were hints of rain and ozone, and dust and age, and things they could not name, but they smelled no blood. But he was definitely no vampire either—his eyes were brown and they heard a strange double percussive beat from his chest._

_The door closed._

_Eleazer looked into the man's eyes, and in the next moment was standing in front of his mate, a low growl escaping. Kate and Irina both tensed and stood to confront whatever threat Eleazer had concluded this visitor represented._

_"Where is he?" The man ignored the rising tension and spoke to Tanya in a harsh voice._

_Tanya regarded him closely, "Who exactly is 'he'?"_

_The man's eyes hardened, "I'm looking for a friend of mine, I know you've had encounters with him."_

_A coy smile flowed across Tanya's face, though her posture was as taut as the rest of the family's. "We've encountered many men. You might have to be more specific. A name perhaps, might be a good place to start, though I can't guarantee we always get a name."_

"_Captain Jack Harkness."_

_Though they were all startled, to Kate it made a sort of sense—Jack was unique, it made sense that someone just as unique would be seeking him._

_Tanya's smile fell from her face. _

"_Where is he?" The man repeated._

"_We," Carmen spoke up, but her voice actually faltered when his gaze whipped around to her. She paused for a moment and Eleazer tightened his arms around her, then she continued, "We haven't seen Jack in twenty years."_

_A look of disbelief and then confusion crossed the man's face. He seemed to deflate and all of the vampires relaxed a slight bit—unable to really understand what had set them on edge in the first place. _

"_What year is it?" He asked, rubbing the back of his neck with one hand, the other burying itself in the pocket of his pants._

_All of them looked at each other, wishing that Edward Cullen, who had only recently decided to return to the human child that had chased him from his home, was still here to make sense of this man's mind._

"_2005," Kate answered._

_The man rolled his eyes, "Right, sorry, I'm early. Pardon me. I'll just leave now."_

_He turned around and reached for the door, when Irina suddenly blocked his way, "You never introduced yourself."_

_He cocked his head, "Neither did you."_

_Irina grinned at the challenge. "I'm Irina."_

"_My name is the Doctor."_

Irina snapped back to the present as he said "TARDIS."

She blinked, "That's not any vehicle I've ever heard of."

"Oh, believe me, the only way to travel." An uninhibited smile crossed his face.

Irina responded to that smile and said, "Show me."

He let out a laugh, "Oh no, I'm not going to unleash you on an unsuspecting universe. Jack might be able to keep up with you, but I doubt anyone else truly could."

So he had noticed. She could not believe anyone would be able to not notice, but she was nearly convinced by his utter unresponsiveness.

He smiled, gently this time, "There is no doubt that you are beautiful, alluring and it is likely no human could resist you."

"But you're not human." There was no question in her voice.

He nodded.

"What _are_ you?"

He took in a deep breath and only answered, "Not your type."


End file.
